Springtime

Bright golden yellow, lush green, dark cherry red - I awoke with these colors and warm trippy sort of happy feeling. I love Spring...and I have fallen in love (it is a good combination). I got up and went to the main house. Could have stayed in bed all day, snuggled in the blankets and dreaming... Apparently Emma was having the same sort of idea - the bed part. Being a Tuesday, and her being 3 yrs old, I was going to take her to playgroup. The absolute last thing she wanted to do was get out of her pj's... to the point of kicking and screaming. Meanwhile, there was a chill in the air so Deb threw some wood in the wood stove. Some sort of downdraft happened and the house filled with smoke at about the same time as Emma was being put in a timeout. So the time out was outdoors, when suddenly a bird flies down and hits the window. Dead bird, screaming child, wood smoke.. ahh spring. Emma stopped crying, all her focus going to the bird. The smoke cleared. Emma got dressed and in the car and for the next 20 minutes I learned her 3 year old's perspective on death and missing people and silence and what it means to live and love. I mostly listened. I am pretty sure she has it more together than I do - I learned a lot. I reminded her that I loved her and she said she 'already knew that'. I told her not to forget and she said she wouldn't because I remind her all the time. The whole thing made me wonder why either of us had gotten up. Why couldn't we have stayed in our pj's and in the bright color dream world? Instead, she is at playgroup and I am at work and tonight there will be a funeral to bury the dead bird... if the cat or dog doesn't get it first.