The whirl wind of october

I wondered to myself why I hadn't been blogging lately considering there was so much going on. Then I said "duh" because there is so so much going on. So what has been going on. Gossip about me transitioning has made the rounds around town. It has made for a few awkward moment. I have answered fairly personal questions to folks I don't know well. I have deflected some with humor. Lynn, Deb and I did have a good laugh at one woman, who never stops talking, being literally speechless after she asked me if what she had heard was true. The one board member of the library that everyone was just sure would find a way to have me fired, found out and so far nothing has happened. I am focusing on the here and now, trying not to stress at the possible actions of the small minded. I do my job well, I believe that is all that is relevant. I have realized that doing this in the eye of my rural community might require of me more openness and more competent explanations than I feel I have. This quickly kicked the librarian side of me into action. I watched a few intro to trans videos and read books aimed at allies looking for ways I could help others. I am getting back on my game. I keep the quote I read on Jennifer Finney Boylan's website, "It is impossible to hate anyone whose story you know" - H.S. Boylan in my head, while I search for a balance between my story and my personal business. I am also trying to learn not to take things personally. Boy oh boy is that hard! When I went to vote, an older woman had a really hard time reconciling my legal name with my body. She finally called a few others over to giggle with her and stare at my ID then she announced that I had a pretty funny name for a guy. I decided it was : a) time to change my name legally and b) a testament to how much I am passing. My I must admit my first reaction was fear and embarrassment. Fear that I wouldn't be allowed to vote and embarrassment having three little old ladies laughing at me. I am over it. Yeah, it is really going well overall. Most folks whether or not they understand are at least giving me the room to do what I gotta do. I appreciate that in this community. Meanwhile I face another winter in my camper. I am getting more done on my house a wall might happen before the snow flies!!